Saturday, April 20, 2013

Scattered

Lately I've been checking my blog, wanting to post something, but having nothing to say. I keep thinking this is because I'm content and happy...

Today reality hit me hard!
I'm numb!

This past year has gone by, I've met so many new people, yet it feels like I have nobody. The people I consider my closest friends, I barely speak to and I'm to BLAME! I'm so caught up in everyday life that I have completely lost sight of myself! I go to work, come home,  download stuff that have no real substance, sleep, study, sleep some-more and repeat day after day... I have no idea how to get out of this rut that I'm currently in. I don't know how to fix and mend all the relationships I've allowed to crumble.

I think that I've pushed them away because I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of the direction my life is heading in... I'm afraid to admit that I'm terrified of what to expect in the next couple of years.  I'm afraid that I'm just not good enough for any of them. I feel shattered, pieces of me are scattered and I have no idea how to put all the pieces back together. I don't even know where to begin!


2 comments:

  1. there are always people you won't necessarily see all the time. but it doesn't mean they have left. Everyone is still here. I guess we are all lost, trying to figure out everything in our lives before its too late. and yes, thinking about the future is incredibly scary. but you know what? whenever friends are around that fear kind of fades away. And I think its because deep down we all know we have our own battles to win. but being together makes us feel like we aren't alone in fighting these battles. being together is empowering for each and every one of us. distance is just metres. What's even better is that relationships aren't based on metres, but time. Even of it is time away. You will be surprised to see how many people are waiting patiently at the finish line for you. It will move you to tears - happy tears, I hope. Only weak foundations crumble.

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  2. I wish this were true. So many people have just disappeared and I have tried but some just seem uninterested. At least I know that no matter how long we go without talking, when I see you or talk to you things go back to the way they were. I can always count on you. Thank you

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